_ Frozen Crabs and the Blonde Flight AttendantA lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs 
and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.  

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.  
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for 
them  staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was 
a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she 
let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.  

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce 
to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New 
Orleans please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

    1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

     2. Many blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.

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• Plant Window by Jianxing Cai, Chao Chen, Qi Wang, & Jiang Wu » Yanko Design  >>> for more CLICK HERE!!!_

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Lightbulbs Jokes :: #17538
By Les C from Tulsa OK USA.

Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Just one, but that light bulb really has to want to change!

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1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.



2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?



Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?  Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.




3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend .... Except one.    Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.  This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?




Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.   According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers.  Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old. 

Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.
PS: Just the fact that I sent it to you should make you feel good.


Have a Super Day!Smiles, Chantelle
http://www.creativecolours.org/

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BIG SURF, RED FLAG WARNING

The big story in the weather department is the BIG surf. Guy Hagi will have the latest on today's "Red Flag" warnings; and how long the high surf is expected to stick around.  Check out the Surf Report.

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Just when you think you've seen it all....................



Bus riders in Bridport, Dorset England often have an unusual companion on their way to and from work each day – an adventurous, 15-year-old cat named Artful Dodger.  Dodger, a beautiful orange tabby, regularly boards the bus at the stop near his house and takes a 10-mile round trip, much to the amusement of the bus passengers and drivers. Sometimes, Dodger even hops on a lucky rider’s lap for a cuddle. 

The bus drivers and regular passengers know Dodger, and always make sure he gets off at his stop at the end of each journey. Some passengers even bring Dodger food and treats each day.  Dodger’s owner, Fee Jeanes, said she was extremely surprised when she discovered the cat’s secret life. One of her daughter’s friends said she saw Dodger on bus 10 miles from the family’s home.  Fee tells the London Telegraph, "I couldn't believe it and panicked. I got into my car to go off and look for him and then at that moment the bus pulled up near our house and lo and behold he got off.”  She soon found out that wasn’t the first time Dodger had gone cruising the city by mass transit.

"That afternoon I saw Dodger climb on board another bus and I rushed to tell the driver. I was shocked when she told me Dodger was always on there and liked to sit on the seats because they are warm from where people have been sitting.” The bus company, First, told the Telegraph that they don’t mind if Dodger hitches a ride with them, saying, "Given this cat is elderly we suspect it would be eligible for free travel, perhaps a bus puss, if such a thing existed."